Happy Birthday!

My grandson's birthday reminded me how important it is to included books as we celebrate important milestones in a child's life. While we think of birthdays as a fun time, there can be lots of stress for children- not getting what they want, sharing their toys, and just the excitement of the day. If you want to help your child/children understand the celebration or just want a book to help celebrate try some of these:

Froggie Bakes a Cake by Jonathan Lumber - Froggie and his dad plan a celebration of mom's birthday.

It's My Birthday by Pat Hutchins -The main charachter in this story doesn't want to share.

Happy Birthday, Jamela! by Niki Daly- Jamela is disappointed with the shoes she gets for her birthday.
Happy Birthday, Dear Duck by Eve Bunting with illustrations by Jan Brett. The desert animals plan a special birthday for Duck.

Birthday Monsters by Sandra Boynton is a a fun book that both you and your child will enjoy.


Birthday Bugs by David Carter is another just for fun birthday book.

For older preschoolers:
Some Birthday! by Patricia Polacco. In Some Birthday!, the little girl thinks everyone has forgotten her birthday, but is treated to a special party in the end.

Happy Birthday to You, You Belong in a Zoo by Diane DeGroat- Gilbert is invited to a party, but decides to give a frying pan for a present.

Holidays and Books

It is that time of the year, when the one thing on mind of many children is the holidays. Sometimes it is hard to get them to refocus on learning. In my class we talk about all kinds of celebrations- not just the winter holidays. We start out by discussing the celebrations the children already know about and then I tell them about a few others. This year one of the children is expecting a new sibling soon, so that we be part of our discussion. I try to look for books that talk about giving, rather than getting. While most of them are older books, I think they still have a social emotional value and can be tied into the holidays.

The Mitten Tree by Candance Christiansen and illustrated by Elaine Greenstein is the story of a elderly lady who wishes the children would take time to visit. She notices that one of them has no mittens and so she makes him a pair and hangs them on a nearby tree. Over time she makes more and more mittens for the children. The story is lends itself to the topic of lonely older people or to helping those less fortunate. After reading this story you might have the children make gifts for people at a local retirement home or you could create a tree to collect mittens for those who don't have any.

Mr. Rabbit and the Lovely Present by Charlotte Zolotow and illustrated by Maurice Sendak is the story of a little girl looking for a present for her mother. I usually read this story then ask the children to think about someone they love and would like to give a present. At times, I have simply had the children draw or cut out a picture of the item, but recently I have been setting up a store in which the children may shop for others. I think it is so important for us to encourage children to look outside themselves. My store has items which others donate to me. Nothing with a lot of value, but the children have a great time, selecting, purchasing ( with play money I provide), wrapping, often hiding, and finally giving the gift. The activity teaches math skills, literacy skills, builds self esteem, fine motor skills, and encourages children to follow through on the multi-step task. We have the store open for at least a full week, so the children really begin to understand what we are doing.

Children continue to love the story of The Little Engine That Could. There are many versions, but they all encourage children to keep trying. Have children think of something they couldn't do, but now can. Ask them to draw a picture of it and hang them on a bulletin board with the title, We Thought We Could and We Did It. You might even put each picture in the car of a train.

A favorite Christmas story of mine is Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree by Robert Barry. While I read the old version, I'm pretty sure there is a more modern one out now. Mr. Willowby gets his tree, but it is too big, so he cuts off the top and throws it out. The top is found by another, but it is too big and the top is cut off and thrown out. The story continues in this pattern. Children enjoy seeing that all creatures who have a tree from the top of the one large tree. I like to do a math related activity about sequencing of size after this story, but it also provides a time for us to talk about the different ways people celebrate.

Other books about celebrations, which you might not be as familiar, include Parade by Donald Crews, The Dress I'll Wear to the Party by Shirley Neitzel, Light the Candle, Bang the Drum by Ann Morris. I often include books about music, since that is a part of many celebrations.

Have fun with the children this holiday season!

We Want You for Our American Album!

Our American Album book discussion tote project, funded primarily by a grant from the Institute for Museum and Library Services, is progressing. 1 tote, Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse is already in circulation. 19 more are in processing. Each tote contains 10 copies of a book, a discussion guide, and either an audiovisual version of the book or a magnifying glass for readers with visual disabilities. We have many more titles to get ready for the circuation.

The second phase of this project is recruit teens to videorecord the personal stories of local residents about events in history and their own lives.

If you know a person with stories to tell or if you are a teen who would like to be a videographer, please contact me at bdcrouse@fclspa.org. We need you. Our goal is to complete most of the project by early May.

New Books

Bernice kindly sent me a few new books that deal with social emotional issues. Until we were looking for them, I never realized just how many great, social emotional themed, picture books are there for use to use as resources.

Nobody Here but Me ( 2008) is by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Christine Davenier. Many of you will remember Judith Viorst from her book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Her new book is about a little boy who wants some attention, but everyone is just too busy for him. While he waits for dad to get off the computer and mom to hang up the phone, he makes plenty of messes, hides from everyone, and finally goes to bed. I think this would be a good books for teachers to read during a parent meeting as well as to children. The books reminds us all how difficult it is to wait for a parent. After reading the book to children talk about things to do while waiting. Find some magazines and help the children make a collage of things to do while waiting.

The Day Leo Said I Hate You by Robie H. Harris and illustrated by Molly Bang. Leo's mom kept saying, "No." She wouldn't let him dance on the table, put beans in the fishbowl, or even squeeze toothpaste down the toilet. Before long Leo said those, powerful and dreaded words, "I hate you." Leo's mom tells Leo that saying that makes people feel really bad. A good story for a parent to read one on one or even for a teacher to read to the group when talking about expressing feeling appropriately. Short simple and easy to read to even those children with a short attention span.

If you liked Audrey Penn's story, The Kissing Hand, you may want to also read her new book, Chester Raccoon and the Big, Bad Bully (2008). The book is illustrated by Barbara L. Gibson. In this story Chester's mom helps him and his friends change the bully badger into a friend.

Just for Fun

A big thank you to Marilyn for sending out this link. It is a fun reminder of the many things our mom said to us and we say to children every day. Makes you understand why experts say to act more and talk less! Take a break from your busy day and visit the link. The smile that comes to your face will be good for you and the children in your care


http://blogs.northlandchurch.net/2008/08/11/the-mom-song/

Shy Children

Shy Charles, by Rosemary Wells, is the story of a very shy mouse. He overcomes his shyness when someone needs his help. This story may help shy children realize that others feel shy too. Maybe some of the children will share about times when they felt shy. It is amazing how much children relate to and can learn from the experiences of other children. You might want to start by telling about a time when you felt very shy and what you did. Discuss that it is ok for people to watch what is going, or ask questions about what they should do. Be sensitive not to attract too much attention to a very shy child as that may make the problem worse.

Here are just a few more ideas to help a shy child.

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  Set up several play areas in your classroom where two children can play.
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  Provide opportunities for children to work in pairs for projects.
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  Find ways to match socially competent children with the shy child. If these children become friends it will build the esteem and skills of the shy child. Sometimes it may be better to pair two shy children together, so one child does not overwhelm the other. Learn to know the child, so can provide the appropriate pairing.
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  Find ways to allow shy children to contribute without speaking.
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  Find the talents of the shy child and and use them to build confidence.
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  Develop a strong relationship with the shy child.
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  Give the shy child a job to do. Start with low risk jobs such as picking up something you drop, closing a door, and then move to "harder" jobs.
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  If the child is hesitant to talk to you directly, use puppets.
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  Prepare all children for new events, visitors, or field trips. Provide extra support beforehand by allowing the child to be near you or another adult. Make sure he knows to come to you if he is starting to be afraid.
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  Do direct teaching of social skills. Teach what to do in various social situation. Demonstrate what to do if someone takes your crayon or pushes in front of you. Watch to make sure the shy child does not become a victim of aggressive children.
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  Observe and document behaviors. If necessary, refer the child for evaluation of a special need or social emotional support. Don't hesitate to ask for professional help. If your child already has an IEP or support plan, reread it for more information which may help you address the needs of the child.

When Adults Get Angry

It happens, we all get angry. Dealing with children on a daily basis brings many rewards, but is also has frustrations. What can we do, so that we can better handle our anger and best be role models to children? I'm by no means an expert, but I have learned a few things through the years. Most of these ideas are good for parents as well as teachers.
Maybe some of them will work for you when the children are getting the best of you.

• When you feel yourself getting louder and louder make an effort to talk as quietly as you can. Whispering in a child’s ear will get his attention and de-escalate the situation.
  
• If you keep talking and no one is listening, just be quiet. Silence often gets more attention that noise.
  
• Take turns with a difficult child. If you feel yourself getting out of control, ask another adult to take over for awhile. I remember as a child I hated to have my hair washed and combed out. On day a neighbor came over and took me to her house and washed my hair and brushed out the tangles. What a treat that must have been for my mom as well as myself.
  
• Don’t take the situation personally. We all do this. We think children are just trying to make us mad, but take a step back and pretend it is someone else’s child. Depersonalize the situation. While you are doing that, take a breath and replay the conflict in your mind. It might just give you a little smile to see yourself arguing with a child as if you are both 5.. You might also discover the thing just isn’t worth fighting about. Whatever has been done, help yourself and the child move forward, by finding a solution or cleaning up the mess. Think more about teaching positive behaviors, not punishing the negative ones.
  
• Find a way to remind yourself to calm down. I used to keep a small poem on my bulletin board. It simply said, "I will not kick, I will not hit, I will not scream, I am the teacher." While I wasn’t kicking and hitting children, it did serve to remind me that I was the adult. I needed to be a role model to the children.
  
• If you are going somewhere and feel that the children are out of control, and you are too, stop and take the children back to a safe place. If you are at the grocery store, go back out to the car or go home. If you are going on a walk and no one is listening, go back inside and regroup. Discuss what needs to be done and try again.
  
• Laugh, say something funny or do something silly. It may be just what is needed to calm negative feelings. This doesn’t mean that you ignore the situation, just that you distract both yourself and the child until you can think more clearly.
  
• If anger is happening daily, talk to someone, so that you can relieve some of the stress and figure out new ways to handle the situation.

Share your ideas on handling anger and frustration.

Normalizing Divorce

Fred Stays with Me ( 2007) by Nancy Coffelt and illustrated by Tricia Tusa is a delightful, simple story about a little girl and her dog. She sometimes stays with her mom and sometimes with her dad, but she always has her dog with her. Neither mom or dad necessarily want a trouble making dog at their house, but they find a way to make it work. While I enjoyed this book, I wondered if children of divorce would and I think they would. It helps children understand that they are not alone in living in two houses and hopefully most of them have a constant with them. While it may not be a real live dog, it could be a favorite blanket or a stuffed animal. There is no judging, no feeling bad about the situation, this is just a funny, comforting story about a what has become a normal lifestyle. Divorced children will be able to feel good as they hear a story about another child living in a similar situation.

When Children Worry

Every now and then you find a child who worries about what could happen. She may worry about tornadoes, germs, and things in the night. Some children will voice these worries, while others do not speak of them. I'm not talking about those children who are living in dangerous situations or who have immediate concerns such as death of a parent. That is a topic much too difficult for me to address. But for those children who do have concerns that are serious to them, but not necessarily an immediate risk, there is much teachers and parents can do to help alleviate those concerns.

Adults need to acknowledge the child's concerns. Take time to reassure the child that you will help them and comfort them. If possible, help them do something about the concern. If they are concerned about weather emergencies, teach them what to do in case of an emergency. Sometimes worries come from children hearing the news on television or during adult conversations. Parents need to be aware of what kinds of adult information children are hearing and try to limit exposure.

Here are a few book related ideas to help children feel less anxious:

Felix the Worrier (2003) by Rosemary Wells and Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes are good books to get the children talking about the things that worry them. After reading these, make a class Worry Book. Children can draw about things that worry them. The teacher may start a discussion on worry by talking about her own worries. She may worry children will be get hurt if they are engaging in unsafe behaviors or whatever the current social emotional issue is at the time. Children can then help figure out things the class can do, about this concern. Teachers could do this with their children's worries. You may want to incorporate this as part of class meetings, asking children if there is anything worrying them and then working on that issue. My one caution is that you may have a few children who start to worry about things, that had never occurred to them before, so tread carefully.

If these books are read at the end of the year, they can be used to discuss worries about going to a new school. Teachers could ask the class to contribute to a book designed to help new children not be so worried about coming to preschool the next year. Another twist would be to ask children to talk about things they used to worry about, but has been resolved. So often when you help others conquer their fears, you can ease some of your own.

Silly Billy by Anthony Browne
Billy’s worries keep him up at night until his grandma gives him some worry dolls. A great story with a multi-cultural touch. This is one book I will definitely use in my classroom. It accepts the fact that children do worry about things and gives them a safe way to handle it. I like how the illustrations show Billy’s feelings.- wish he was just a little tougher looking, but both boys and girls will relate to Billy. After discussing things children worry about, give the children a chance to make their own worry dolls or if you have the time make or have a parent make dolls for the children. The children can whisper their worries to the dolls. Dolls can be made from the old fashion straight clothes pins, permanent marker, and a little yarn.

Parents could use this idea at home or they could make a worry box. Write down the child's worries, discuss what to do about the worry, and put note in a specially decorated box. This way you are acknowledging your child's concerns. It may not solve the problem, but it does show your child that you are taking time to hear their worries.

Since I started out talking about Kevin Henkes, I should mention his book, A Good Day. In this book, some unfortunate events happen to the animals at the start of the story, but by the end of the book, the bad day has turned into a good day. I think many children need to hear this theme over and over to help them gain a more positive outlook and to feel a sense of hope that things will get better. I wish I had this book when my grandson was pouting to me this summer that this bad thing or that was going to happen. He needed to hear that one disappointment didn’t necessarily mean the whole day would go wrong. If you have this book handy, you could pull it out whenever there is a class disappointment such as rain on a picnic day and then discuss ways to turn that event into something positive. If you want a humorous book along the same theme, you might want to try That’s Good! That’s Bad! By Margery Cuyler.

Share your ideas about how help children handle their worries.

Clean Up Time or Is It Pick Up and Put Away?

I don’t know about your class, but last year when I asked my group to clean up, they got out the brooms and started sweeping the floor. They also cleared the table by wiping everything to the floor. It was then I decided I needed to be more explicit in my directions. Clean Up Time was quickly renamed Pick Up and Put Away Time. So often, we just assume children know what we mean when we give instructions. This year, I am using the book Max Cleans Up to help teach what I mean about "cleaning up." In this humorous book by Rosemary Wells, Ruby works to pick up toys and put them away, but Max stuffs an assortment of objects, including gooey substances, ants, and a little sand into his pocket. Afterwards, we will discuss where an assortment of our classroom objects belong.We may make cooperative pictures to hang in the room and remind us to put things where they belong. We may even sing a few verses of "Time to put the toys, away, toys, away, toys away. Time to put the toys away. Everybody help." I should probably also take time to teach the meaning of the word everybody. I'm always amazed at the number of children who don't realize I mean them, when I say everyone or everybody. It never fails that after I tell everybody to go, one child will still be sitting there and ask, "Me?" Children can't be expected to behave in a certain way, if we as adults are not clear in our directions.

Parent Teacher Conferences

It is about that time, parents are anxious to know how their children are doing in school and teachers are beginning to have a good understanding about the skills of the children. If teachers are to create partnership with parents, it is important to put yourself in the parent's place. Parents want to hear the good news and need to hear the bad. If parents are to develop good relationships with teachers, they need to listen with an open mind and be willing to share what they know about their child.

Here are a few hints to make conferences more successful.

• Talk about the child's strengths. No one wants to be bombarded with negatives. Plus it gives a more complete picture of the child.
• Don't get into the blame game. Start from the here and now.
• Teachers need to be prepared. Observe the child, document what you see, gather work samples, and prepare paperwork beforehand. Share specific examples of what you have seen, not general comments about how the child never listens. Take time to think of resources and solutions to offer, if there is a problem you need to discuss.
• Parents, take a few minutes before the conference to observe your child, consider goals you have for your child. Talk to your child to see if he or she wants you to talk to the teacher about something. Make a list of questions.
• Allow enough time to have a full conversation about the child.
• Listen to each other. Make sure both parties have time to talk.
• Ask questions to clarify, especially when you don't agree.
• If you find what is being discussed, upsetting, take a break and ask if you can come back, in a few days, to talk again, once you have had time to consider what has been said.
• Set goals for the child, so you both are working toward the same end.
• Come up with a plan both teachers and parents can agree to use. If one person can't do it or doesn't like it, admit that up front.
• If you disagree about a behavior being a problem, remember it must be a problem for the person to bring it up. It might not be a problem for you, in your situation, but it is in the other situation. Find out why the behavior is a problem.
• Set a time for follow up, if needed.
• End on a positive note.
  

Who's Afraid? Books to Help

There’s a Nightmare in My Closet by Mercer Mayer is just one of many books that can help children talk about and overcome some of their fears. A favorite in my classroom is The Big Green Monster.

After reading a story, I like to encourage the children to talk about their fears. If my focus is monsters, we usually spend time creating monsters in the art center. I find the children especially like to make monster puppets. It gives them even more opportunities to play with monsters and in doing so they can feel more comfortable and less afraid. We often expand this activity and make up stories about our monsters. We tell what they like to eat and where they like to hide and what scares our monsters. Sometimes we make individual stories and other times we make class stories, depending upon the needs of the class. If appropriate, it would add to the learning by having the children act out the stories.

When talking about general fears, you might want to involve the parents. Send home a note asking parents to fill in the blanks. "When I was little I used to be afraid of__________, but now I____. " You can read these to the class. Think how comforting it could be to know that when Tommy’s police officer dad was a little boy, he was afraid of spiders, but now he loves to look at their webs in the morning dew. I think the best part about sharing general fears is the words of wisdom and actions that can come from the other children.. When classmates see petite Beth picking up worms, they begin to see that worms might not be as tough as they originally thought. Take time to learn about children’s fears and then you can find ways to lessen them.

Other books to help with fears:

Bump in the Night by Edward Hemingway (2008) Story of a little boy who, at bedtime hears a noise in the closet.He imagines the worst, but it is only his puppy.

Francis the Scaredy Cat by Ed Boxall (2002) Francis the cat, is afraid of the dark and what must be out there in the night. One night, Francis becomes worried that a monster in the dark has captured his friend Ben. Francis overcomes his fear to go rescue Ben.

The Scaredy Cats by Barbara Bottner, illustrated by Victoria Chess (2003)
This family of cats is scared of everything, so they do nothing. Read the story to find out what Baby Scaredy Cat has to say.

Shadows Are About by Ann Whitford Paul, illustrated by Mark Graham (1992) A simple look at how shadows are everywhere, but only when there is light. A good story to help children understand the same thing that may scare them at night is there in the daytime also.

Helping Those Who Don't Fit In

Earlier this year, I wrote about helping children include others in their play. It all seemed so easy then. Teachers just make it clear that children can't tell others they can't play. I know it is the right way, but when the child who wants to play is annoying and disrupts the play, it sometimes doesn't seem fair to the other children who are engaging in sustained, imaginative play.
As I write this, I am trying to think of solutions for the teacher who brought me this problem. I know we have to teach the "outsider" better skills, but that won't happen over night. Meanwhile, unless the teacher is right there to guide the play, those children who might move onto more advanced play miss out on the opportunity. Staff can try to involve the child in play with others, but again they are spending the majority of their time working on the skills of this one child, while possibly not giving the support to others who need it. The alternative is not a consideration. Teachers can't condone the children excluding, nor can teachers insist the children include and not be there for support. Playing with one child is sometimes easier than playing in a group, so maybe helping this child develop a friendship with one other child would help. Not a perfect solution, but maybe one to try for at least part of center time. If the teacher looks for this child's strengths and has him/her use them, to help other children, it could increase the possibility that others will see him/her in a more positive way. The adults need to make sure the other children see, that adults like this child and thus build the child's social value.
Thank you for being my sounding board on this problem. If you have insight to share, just post it in the comment section.

Language and Social Skills

After attending the Governor's Institute, one of my goals was to teach the children in my class, what to do in various situations. This week we've been talking about anger. We've read several good books on the topic. We talked about what makes us angry and we've discussed using words to talk about problems. Today I sat down with each child and asked him what he does when he is angry. I often rephrased, asking, "How do you make yourself happy?" I was amazed at the insight some of the children had. I was also reminded of the difficulty some children have with language, especially those wh questions and there I was using both what and when. Unfortunately, it is those same children who sometimes have difficulty with behaviors. This could be because they don't understand what is being said or they can't express themselves as well and be understood by others. I have a wonderful speech therapist, who comes to my room every week, but speech and language problems are seldom quickly resolved. Meanwhile the children's self esteem decreases, others begin to label them as problems, they may be less accepted by classmates. I need look at each of these children and determine the best way to teach them the skills they need. Some may need more repetition, others may need to learn to use gestures, still other may need more more visuals such as picture charts. In any case, I know that to be effective, my teaching methods need to reach all the children. We think nothing of individualizing academic skills, but it is just as important to individualize when teaching social skills.
Share your ideas on how to help children who have speech. language and processing delays build social emotional skills.

Teacher Burnout

It probably doesn't take much thought to figure out how teacher burnout affects the social-emotional skills of children. A teacher who is feeling burnt out is less engaged with the children, does not make the extra effort to improve the skills of children, does not empower and help children believe in themselves, and generally is more self focused than child focused. So what can we do to help teachers avoid burnout?
Suggestions that I have read include:

• Clarify what is expected of you.
• Ask for help. This is especially important if problem behaviors are causing the stress. I found this quote on another blog and thought it was quite true, "When a child's behavior is unmanageable and teachers are not supported in finding special help and assessment for the child, learning opportunities for all are diminished. It is also agonizing and extremely stressful." http://teacherswithburnout.blogspot.com/2008/01/stressed-teachers-cant-be-expected-to.html
• Talk to other teachers. The simple act of sharing your feelings can often help. Other teachers may be able to help you problem solve some matters and relieve some of the stress.
• Try to maintain communication with administrators. Unfortunately some administrators impose rules, procedures, or requirements without consulting those who must carry them out. Voice your concerns. Teachers who feel they have no control over what is being required or strongly disagree with what is expected can quickly develop burnout. http://www.ericdigests.org/2004-1/burnout.htm
• Take time off from work, use your sick days, and take that time to recharge yourself. Teachers need to take care of themselves, if they are to take care of others.
• If coworkers are dragging you down, ask for a team building meeting or a transfer.
• Take a class to gain fresh ideas.
• Make a firm decision to keep work at work and eliminate taking the job home. You will never fell refreshed if you carry the stress home with you.
• Exercise or do some other enjoyable activity.
• Find some way to bring more humor into your life.

Remember, it is easier to prevent burnout than it is to recover from the results. Children deserve the best teachers we can give them, so take care of yourself!

Two New Books

Where’s My Mom? By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler
This is the story of a lost monkey and the butterfly who works to reunite him with his mother. The title alone will provide an opportunity to discuss what to do if a child gets lost, and the twist at the end helps children see that not all children look like their parents. It would be natural to follow the story with an activity to help children learn the name of their parents. I like to do this by talking about what I call the parent and then also calling the children by the name of the primary care giver. Aside from the social-emotional value, the book has quite a bit of opportunity to build critical thinking and language skills. Children can be asked to consider how things are alike and different, how you can distinguish one animal from another. You might extend this to have children attempt to describe their primary care giver. If children are developmental ready, graphs could be made about various characteristics of children or parents.

I’m Bad! by Kate and Jim McMullan While I really enjoyed the I Stink and I’m Dirty books by the same authors, I almost decided not to write about this book, after my first read. I thought it just encouraged bad behavior and might be disliked by some of the children especially the girls. I decided to see what others had to say and all I found were glowing reviews. They pointed out that the story shows that even the toughest of the tough guys needs mom and even the toughest creatures don’t always get their way. All of this reminded me that I need to read books that will appeal to the tough guys in my class. As much as I might think the children would benefit from a book, such as Making Friends by Fred Rodgers, if the tough guys tune me out, they gain nothing from it. So use your best big, loud, bad voice as you enthusiastically read, I’m Bad!, it just might get the attention of the child who needs it most.

Dr. Steven Tobias

During the Thursday session, of The Governor's Institute on Early Learning, Dr. Steven Tobias, from the Center for Child and Family Development in New Jersey, impressed upon us the importance of social skills and encouraged us to look at how what adults do influences these skills. He made us all laugh when he suggested we "Shoot the lead buffalo." No, he wasn’t suggesting we all get out our guns, but simply pointing out that if we can improve the behavior of the ringleader we can improve the behavior of the whole class.

A few of the many other ideas which I took back from his lecture were:
When a child has a tantrum or is upset about something, empathize with the child because nagging and reasoning won’t work.
Negative feedback often leads to more problems.
It is very important for parents to have fun with their children.
In today’s busy society, parents spend less than an hour actually being with their children.
Success is 80% emotional intelligence.
Children who are insecure have trouble with delay of gratification.
When teaching children a new skill, tell them why the skill is important and how it will help them get what they want.
Use natural and logical consequences to avoid battles. If the adult needs to enforce the consequence they should do it with empathy and not anger.

You can learn more by reading the book, Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: Raising a Responsible, Self-Disciplined and Socially Skilled Child, coauthored by Dr. Tobias, Maurice Elias, and Brian Friedlander. It was published in January 1999.

Dr. Janet Patti

Dr. Janet Patti, who is a founding member of the Leadership Team of the Collaborative for Academic Social Emotional Learning and a professor of Education Administration and Supervision Program at Hunter College, spoke to us during the Wednesday session of the Governor’s Institute for Early Learning. Her topic was Creating Caring and Safe Communities of Learning. She discussed building learning communities in Schools, but her focus was on the importance of Emotional Intelligence Theory and ways teachers can build emotional intelligence and social skills in children. She made us aware of the dramatic impact early childhood teachers can make on a child’s future. I found the statistics about the effects of using social emotional programs in schools significant. Research shows that 44%of the children will have better test scores and there will be a 30% reduction in disruptive and aggressive behaviors. It is easy to see how these go hand in hand. Teachers who need to spend less time handling disruptive behaviors can spend more time teaching which benefit all children. And on the other side, if children are not engaged in disruptive behaviors, they are more likely to be engaged in learning. Teachers have a responsibility to make sure all children feel included and safe in the classroom.
Dr. Patti encouraged teachers to reflect on how a teacher who is adept at teaching social -emotional skills teaches. She suggested that teachers need to examine themselves to determine how they would like their classrooms to look and how they themselves would like to teach.
Just as it is important for teachers to look at themselves and their own feelings, they need to help students learn about their own feelings. Teachers need to teach children how to problem solve. I thought I was doing this well, but after hearing her talk, I realized that just because one child come up with a solution or compromise, I need to make sure that solution also works for all children involved. For instance, after one child tries to take a toy from another, the child who is the taker may problem solve that the two can play with the toy together. I often forget to ask the victim, if that is ok. Maybe that child had other plans or would like to finish and then give the toy to the first child. Helping victims stand up for themselves is just as important as curbing aggressive behaviors.
For more information visit the CASEL website. It has a wealth of information to help teachers from Pre-K to high school. www.casel.org

Dr. Amy McCart

I think all of us at the Governor’s Institute, enjoyed hearing from Dr. Amy McCart, a Research Assistant Professor at the University of Kansas. She took research theory and put it in everyday practical terms, adding lots of humor and real life examples in her presentation.
Dr. McCart urged us to approach behavior issues in the same manner as we do academic issues. When a child has problems learning an academic skill, good teachers analyze what the problem might be and they re-teach the skill. If we take time to reflect on behavior issues, and then teach the skill the child needs to be successful, many behavior problems should be reduced.
One way we can reflect on behavior problems is to use the ABCs. First, look at what happened before the behavior, the A, or antecedent. This might be Billy walked in the room and saw Sally playing with his favorite toy. Next, look at what happened, or the (B) behavior. This might be that Billy went in the corner and cried. Then, look at the (C) consequence. This might be that Billy gets attention from adults or it might be that Sally feels sorry from him and gives him the toy. The consequence is sometimes hard to determine, but it is not necessarily a "punishment" handed down by a teacher. Dr. McCart also suggested there might be a setting event, which possibly happened earlier in the day. This could be that Billy was tired or hungry or maybe he had a fight with his brother before coming to school. If it is possible to address the setting event, the negative behavior may be eliminated or reduced. After gathering the above information, try to determine the goal of the behavior. The goal is something the child wanted to obtain or escape. At times a behavior may have more than one function. In this case, we may decide that Billy wanted the toy, but maybe he also wanted our attention or wanted help in getting the toy. Without additional information, it appears that Billy does not have the language, self confidence, and/or social skills, to obtain his goal of adult attention/help or having a turn with the toy. If we look at this as an academic issue, we can see that Billy needs to be taught what to do when he wants something. Teaching him how to get help or how to ask for a turn will decrease the behavior and build his pro-social skills.

Dr. McCart made many other excellent points:

• 
  If a teacher is has more than 3-5 children with problems, the teacher should look at changing what she is doing. As we all know, each group of children is different. Possibly the current class needs more movement or more structure.
• 
  Teachers should look at their most hectic time and work to teach the children what to do at that time. For me this is right before lunch. Staff are busy trying to get lunches ready, some children are passing out tableware, others need to have an activity to do while waiting, and still others may be washing hands to get ready for lunch. I need to think through exactly how things should happen and then teach that procedure to the children.
• 
  Teachers should model more and talk less. In my lunch scenario above, I can tell the children to place one plate at every chair, but taking time to show them is more effective.

3 New Books

Bernice shared three new library books with me this week. She was right, they are really cute and right on target for helping children learn social-emotional skills. The first one I read, was Yoko Writes Her Name by Rosemary Wells. Yoko is very pleased to be able to write her name in Japanese, but the other children make fun of her scribbling. Yoko worries about this, but before long the other children come to appreciate Yoko’s secret language. This book will help children learn about and respect other’s cultures. The book shows numbers and several words in Japanese. Children who are already able to write numbers may want to try the Japanese writing. If you are fortunate to know another language or have a parent or child who does, they can teach some words from that language. It might be a good time to add a CD with other languages to your listening center. Using music and songs from various cultures would also build appreciation. Don’t forget to include some sign language in your teaching. As our community becomes more diverse, it is important to help children accept and appreciate others.

Gorgonzola by Margie Palatini and illustrated by Tim Bowers is the story of a stinky dinosaur. This funny story will help children understand the importance of personal hygiene. Use caution, if you have a child in your class who has a noticeable problem as it could be embarrassing, but for most classroom, this book will be an attention getting introduction on how to take care of one self. You can act out taking a bath or shower, make a class book about personal care, or put dolls, soap, wash clothes, toothbrushes in the water table and let the children clean the dolls. If you have plastic dinos, it would be fun to wash those, too. Providing real life activities reinforces the child’s learning.

As a child, I would have been attracted to the book, Mail Harry to the Moon by Robie H. Harris and illustrated by Michael Emberly. Just as the boy in this story, I felt life was perfect before my baby brother came along. In the end, the boy comes to appreciate his baby brother, just as I have mine! No matter how hard parents may try to prepare children for the birth of a new baby, some children still have a difficult time adjusting to sharing their parents. This book opens to the door for a class to discuss the good (and bad) things about having a sibling. After hearing this story, I wouldn’t be surprised to see children acting out the role of big sister or brother in the pretend center. Pretending is a good way for children to work out their feelings, so be sure to support this kind of imaginative play. You may be able to help them problem solve what to do when parents are busy with the new baby by joining in the play and taking the role of the big brother.

Socially, Emotionally Healthy Children

One of the main speakers at the Governor's Institute was Dr. M. Ann Levett. She is the Executive Director of the School Development Program at the Child Study Center at Yale University. She spoke to us on Restoring the Spirit to Preschool Education: Recognizing the Value of Social and Emotional Development. Dr. Levett reviewed factors in the social and emotional development of young children and the adult's role in the development of healthy children. We all see the increasing pressure for academic success at an early age, but as Willard Hartup ( 1992) found, "The single best childhood predictor of adult adaptation is not IQ, school grades, or classroom behavior. Rather it is the adequacy with which the child gets along with other children." Hartup also found that, "unless children achieve minimal social competence by age six, they have a high probability of being at risk throughout life."
Dr. Levett suggested that we can identify socially, emotionally healthy children by the following abilities:

• separate from family members without extreme stress
• form an attachment with an adult at school
• conform to routines without too much difficulty or stress
• involve themselves in play
• have an aware of their own and other's feelings

She went on to suggest that adults can help promote positive social-emotional skills in children by:

• building confidence
• helping students learn to like themselves as well as others
• modeling the desired behaviors
• assisting children to build positive relationships with other children
• developing a sense of being valued, in children
• praising appropriate behaviors
• offering children choice, thereby giving them some control over their life
• providing opportunities to cooperate, interact and problem solve conflicts with others
• encouraging children to be generous
• helping children understand others by taking on the role of others
• promoting healthy behaviors

Dr. Levett had us question the consequences of focusing on the cognitive development of preschool children, when research points to the importance of social, emotional skills. years, the local kindergarten teachers have told me basically the same message; if a child comes to school with strong social-emotional skills, they will be ready to learn academic skills. Take a few minutes to reflect on how you can help develop socially, emotionally healthy children.

To learn more about Dr. Levett's work go to http://www.schooldevelopmentprogram.org/index.html

Helping Children By Helping Parents

I truly believe that one of the best was to teach children pro-social skills is to help parents handle behavior issues, but lately I've been wondering about this. What makes one parent better able to handle behavior problems? As I look around my neighborhood, I am amazed how some parents just seem to know the right thing to do. I don't remember being that competent at their age. Of course I have my own ideas and I'm sure there is no one right answer, but I'm interested in what others think. Once we know what makes one parent better able to handle problems, we can teach those skills to other parents. So what do you think? I recently had one parent tell me, she felt she was a better parent because she learned from the mistakes made by her own mother. Sometimes, I think it has more to do with how a parent feels about him or herself. If a parent is feeling competent and capable, he or she is better able to be consistent. But, I also know some people who feel pretty competent, but I wouldn't want to imitate their methods. So join in the discussion and comment on what skills, traits, experiences, or competencies do you need to be better able to handle behavior issues?

CART Kits

In Franklin County, we are lucky to have CART kits. These kits were a Chambersburg District Library project. There are sets in McConnellsburg and Waynesboro, as well as at Coyle. The idea originally came from Pittsburgh libraries so they may be available at other libraries. These kits are collections of books, on a specific topic.

Kit number 40 is devoted to the topic of feelings. Books included in this kit are:

Will You Come Back for Me? by Ann Tompert and illustrated by Robin Kramer. This is the story of a little girl, Suki, who is unsure about starting school. As she pretends to take her bear to school and drop him off, she expresses her own concerns about being left at school. If this is a problem for your child or children in the classroom, it might be helpful for you to provide the props for him or her to role play the experience of a parent leaving a child at school. Either way the book is a good discussion started of how it feels when a parent leaves a child in a new place.
Feelings by Aliki is probably better read one on one or at least to children with a good understanding of books. The book is wonderful at helping children understand what others might be feelings in different circumstances.
The Hating Book by Charlotte Zolotow, illustrated by Ben Shecter. Two little girls have a misunderstanding and the one expresses negative thoughts about the girl. Things are finally resolved when the mom suggests she talk to her friend. A good story to help children see how misunderstandings can happen. The misunderstanding in this story is about what one person thought the other said about her. When I was a Girl Scout, we used to play a game in which the first person would whisper something to the next and the message would go around the circle. Most often by the time the message got to the last person, it was very different. Try this with your class and help them see, if you want to know what someone said, you need to ask that person.
The Saddest Time by Morma Simon pictures by Jacqueline Rodgers This is a book I hope you never need to use. It is divided into sections and talks about different people dying. There is one short section about a child dying and the classmate's reaction. The class draws pictures for the child’s parents.
Other books in this kit are:
The Knight Who was Afraid of the Dark by Barbara Shook Hazen,
Weird Parents by Audrey Wood
Let’s Be Enemies by Janice May Udry
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer

Remember Your Ps.

When I was growing up, children were often reminded to remember their Ps and Qs. It was a way to remind children to remember their manners and say please and thank you. As teachers, we need to remember our Ps. To get off on a good foot, remember to be present, positive and predictable.
Be Present. Be there when the children are; from the moment they walk in the door until they go home. It is so easy to become distracted by phone calls, visitors, and other distractions, but to be successful with the children, you need to be there for them. Even the best teachers and child care professionals can’t be everywhere at once and will miss some things now and then, but do your best to keep out extraneous distractions
Be Positive. We all know what a difference it is to be with someone who is positive throughout the day. It is even more important for children. Role model a positive, can do attitude so children will have a positive outlook and better self-esteem.
Be Predictable. Children will learn to trust when teachers are predictable in routines, guidance, and in what they say. Of course, there is lots of room for innovative ideas, teachable moments, and a change of pace, but when the school year is starting out children need predictability. They need it most at stressful and hectic times. They need to know the day’s routine, when it will be time to go home, where to find what they need, and what will happen if they demonstrate mistaken behavior. Once children know what to expect, they will be better able to handle the changes that must come.

Have a great school year!!

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

During our recent pre-service, I surveyed the staff on the best way to start the school year off right. The number one answer from the staff was to communicate with the other people with whom you work. I have to agree. We need to build positive relationships between staff members first. We must take the time to talk and most importantly to listen to each other. Even as we do this, we are teaching ( modeling) for the children how to behave in a pro-social manner. We also need to know that we are working on common goals and working together and not against each other. We cannot be consistent and follow routines, if the one staff member is not aware of what the other is doing.
Communication with parents is equally important. If we truly want to help children succeed, we need to help parents be the best they can be and let them help us to be our best. We need to listen to their knowledge, needs, and concerns. Children who observe teachers and parents building positive relationships will be quicker to trust their teachers.
And finally, we must communicate with the children. We must listen to what they have to say and respect their feelings. If we are to build a positive relationship with the children, we need to take time to get to know them and to let them know a little about us. Relationships are a two way street, so allow the children to care about you and help you.
While registering children for our Health Fair, one little boy came up to the table, immediately turned down my offer of a sticker, and said very seriously, "I’m mad." He responded a little more to each of my questions and comments, telling me he didn’t like this school. I don’t know if he was afraid he might not like the school or simply was fearful of not knowing what to expect, but by taking time to let him express his feelings, reassure him that we were happy he was here, he became more comfortable and he left the table with a more positive attitude.
Take the time to communicate. It just might make a difference in someone's day.

More Great Read Alouds

Lee Ann emailed to share a wonderful resource. She must have been reading my mind, because just the day before I was thinking I should write about the book, A Splendid Friend Indeed. This is the story of a somewhat annoying goose who only wants to be friends with Polar Bear. She saved me all the work of thinking of activities to go along with the book by sending me a link to a website with information on this very special book and a list of more books about friends. http://www.schlowlibrary.org/splendid_friends/schlow.htm
That website links to another which has even more resources pertaining to the same book. http://www.paonebook.org/onebook2007/splendid.htm

A Splendid Friend Indeed by Suzanne Bloom was the Pennsylvania One Book in 2007. Some PA libraries will have traveling kits which they can lend to teachers in the classroom. After reading this book, the class may enjoy, Treasure, a new book by Bloom which tells of the continuing adventures of Goose and Polar Bear.

Suzanne Bloom has written some other worthwhile books about social emotional topics, but I think my favorite must be Piggy Monday. The story starts one Monday when Mrs. Hubbub's class was getting out of line. The teacher warns the class that they need to listen or they will all turn to swine. My class really enjoyed this very funny book and best of all, I saw an improvement in their manners after we read it.

Getting Your Child Ready for School

It won’t be long until school starts. Time for mom or dad to put on a brave face and assure his or her child things will be just fine. It doesn’t matter if your child is starting preschool or kindergarten, there is still time to help your child gain some valuable skills. Work on building your child’s confidence by teaching independence, and problem solving skills. Some children may not know what to do if they have a problem, so build those skills. Talk to your child about what he can do if he wants help or needs to use the bathroom. Discuss how it looks when you are listening to the teacher. Teach him to put his eyes on the teacher, use his ears to hear, sit still, keeping hand to self and to sit without talking when the teacher is teaching the group.
Increase your child's independence by making sure he can handle self help skills such as dressing and toileting himself. Let him practice buckling belts, fastening shoes, snapping snaps, and buttoning buttons. If you know other children who will be in your son or daughter’s class, it might help to have a playdate before school starts. It always helps to go through new situations with a friend.
Be sure to attend any orientations to help you and your child learn about his or her new school. When people know what to expect, they feel more comfortable. The same thing is true for children. The more you know about what is happening in school, the more you can help your child.
Children who demonstrate confidence, independence, and problem solving skills are generally well liked and successful in school. When children can take care of small day to day matters, they gain confidence to tackle the harder tasks and are less likely to have problems with bullies.

If you have other tips for parents, about ways to help young children have a successful first week of school, please share them in the comment section.

If you live in the Greencastle- Antrim area, you can sign up for Ready, Set, Kindergarten!—A Special storytime for children entering kindergarten (10:00-11:00 a.m.) on Wednesday, August 20 at Besore Library.

Pictures Books and Feelings

This month my focus has been on books to help children express and handle feelings.

On Monday When It Rained (1989) by Cherryl Kachenmeister
Credit goes to Andrea, at Besore Library for finding this great book for me. It is a simple story of how a young boy feels through the week. The clear, black and white photos illustrate the various expressions of the main character. They remind me of those in the Second Step Curriculum. This book will give you a straight forward way to discuss emotions and how they change. If you have a camera handy, ask the children to tell you about times they felt different emotions. If you can’t afford an individual book for each child, make a class book. Go through the week and chronicle the feelings of the group, as the occur. "On Monday, we surprised Miss Lisa with a birthday party." "On Tuesday, we were sad that Eli's dog was sick." On Wednesday, we were disappointed that it rained at recess." On Thursday, we were happy that.." Of course, children can always illustrate such a book. Another good extension would be to have the children start and keep a feelings journal. One of my past classes had some success with this. We added a simple rebus vocabulary list at the back, to encourage independent writing.

Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard
Grumpy Bird wakes up grumpy. He doesn’t even feel like flying, so he starts to walk. As he passes friends, they join him in his walk. By the end of story they are all having fun together and Grumpy Bird isn’t so grumpy any more. A simple story of how negative feelings can change.
Children may enjoy making pictures of Grumpy Bird and Happy Bird.
You might make a class list of things that make people grumpy and things they can do when they feel grumpy. If you involve parents in your curriculum, your impact will be greater. Have the children create a Grumpy Bird to take home. Encourage them to share the story with parents. Ask parents to come up with a family plan of things family members can do when one or more is feeling grumpy. Ideas could included, reading stories, going for a walk, taking a nap together, watching a family movie, or making cookies. As a parent, I would much rather have a child come to me and tell me he needs a little extra attention because he is grumpy than to have to deal with the consequences of arguing with a grumpy child for hours.

I visited Kennedy-Kruger Center, yesterday, and was listening to a doctor talk about the needs of kids with ADHD. She talked about having plans and routines for them. This correlates well with an article I read about the value of having a plan of what to do before the emotion happens. When a child feels out of control, a place to go or a practiced habit for recovery might be just the remedy that works for the child and the adult.

Teaching Self Regulation to Preschoolers

I’ve been doing a little research for an upcoming training. I thought I understood the importance of a teaching social emotional skills, but it really hit home when I read why we need to help young children learn self regulation. In the article, Promoting Children’s Social and Emotional Development Through Preschool Education (Preschool Policy Brief March 2005, National Institute for Early Education Research) by Judi Boyd, W. Steven Barnett, Elena Bodrova, Deborah J. Leong, and Deanna Gomby, the authors write "if preschoolers do not practice self-regulation enough, the related brain areas will not be fully developed" I find that statement so powerful. Adults must teach children how to self regulate behavior or the ability to do so may not fully develop. As preschool teachers, we have a tremendous opportunity ( and responsibility) to teach skills which can make a positive difference in the lives of the children in our classrooms.
I hope to effectively share this information with the parents in my classroom. Parents need to understand if they do not take the time to teach skills to their preschooler, they are more likely to have to deal with self regulation issues in the future.

You can learn more about this topic at: http://nieer.org/resources/policyreports/report7.pdf

Picture Books and Feelings

For awhile, I thought I might not find enough good picture books about feelings to share, but that hasn't been a problem. There are so many, I will post one or two at a time throughout the month. I'm including both of these in my lesson plans.

How Are You Peeling? Food with Moods By Saxton Freymann and Joost Elffers
Children seem to love this book, but I would guess their focus is on the illustrations rather than the words. That’s ok because the feelings are clearly illustrated, even though they are made from food. It is a good book to attract children who need a little extra to draw them in at story time. Showing the pictures and discussing them before reading the story, may be the best way to introduce it. You may even find it valuable to draw a smiley face ( and other iconic faces) and discussing what feeling the icon represents. Afterwards, children may want to play a game, much like charades, in which a child makes a face and others guess how he or she is feeling. You may want to share the book with parents and encourage them to work with children to make faces on food. This could be a great extension for families which celebrate Halloween.

Angry Dragon by Thierry Robberecht is the story of a very angry boy who says he turns into a dragon when he gets angry. The little boy expresses his feelings as he goes from becoming angry to again being calm and able to allow his parents to comfort him. Phille Goosens illustrates the boy's feelings in a clear way. After reading the story, children will probably want to discuss how they feel when they become angry. I think the real value in the story is in helping children see they are not the only ones who have strong , hard to control feelings. Teachers may want to discuss appropriate ways to handle anger. In small groups, children could draw how they feel when angry and then how they feel when calm.

Exclude or Include?

Does every child in your classroom feel safe and included?
I always thought that I was doing a good job on this topic until I read "A Matter of Trust" by Carollee Howes and Sharon Ritchie. They write about a girls’ relational aggression being difficult for teachers to see because it is so much a part of our culture. They go on to discuss that teachers may feel they should not intervene as children work things out for themselves or they try to change the outsider to be more acceptable to the others. They conclude that a child who feels left out or bullied does not feel safe and by now we all know the problems which can come from that. When I think back to some of the scenarios that have happened in my classroom, I’m sure I have allowed some of these types of behaviors to occur. I too, have worked to make the outsider be more acceptable to the group, when maybe I should have been working to make the group more accepting to others. I know I did some excluding myself as a child when I had a club house and decided who could and could not be a part of it. ( mostly my friend’s little sisters were not allowed.)
Howes and Ritchie make an important point in saying, if children are expected to include all others, the teacher has a responsibility to see that she is not excluding children- from circle, from activities, from recess.
Do I have the answers? Certainly not, but it is food for thought, lots of thought. If you want to learn more about including, read Vivian Paley’s "You Can’t Say You Can’t Play" or maybe even re-read it. I read it when it was first published in 1992, and again a few years ago. I’ll probably go back for a third read.
Do you agree with Howes and Ritchie? Should children always have to include others? What if the other child is being mean and disrupting the play? Please join in the discussion of this topic by posting your comments.

When Sophie Gets Angry

One of my favorite books about anger is When Sophie Gets Angry- Really, Really Angry.. by Molly Bang. It is the story of a little girl with an explosive temper, but luckily Sophie is able to calm down after taking a walk. Before reading the story ask the children to think of a time when they were really angry. Afterwards point out how Sophie was able to calm down. Make sure the children understand the word calm. Depending on the needs of the children, discuss things the children do when really angry (not everyone yells as Sophie did), what things are ok and which are not, and ways to calm down after being angry. Encourage the children to find a place in the room where they may go when they are really angry. They can name the spot and might even want to put some fun/calming items close by. Others should know to let the angry child alone. If your class is able they could each make a book or picture about when they get angry. Or make a group book about calming actions, When We Get Angry, We Can...... The more you read it, the more automatic it will be for the children to recall these calming activities when they need them.

Pro-Social Books for Boys

Emotions and the actions that go with them can be so strong, it is no wonder that children notice and imitate how adults handle their feelings. So it should not be a surprise that we find little boys imitating how the men in their lives handle anger and fear. If those experiences have included seeing the main male role figures act in an aggressive manner, little boys will do the same. It is what they have been taught to do.
I’m not saying that every child who hits, has a negative role model at home. I know first hand that some children simply lash out at others even though they have not been exposed to aggression. Those children seem to be flooded with strong emotions and just don’t know what else to do.
No matter the cause, it is clear why helping children learn how to handle feelings can be an essential and difficult task for teachers of young children.
With the help of Bernice and the local library staff, I’ve been able to find many books which can help build social emotional skills in children, but books which show boys using positive ways to deal with problems, anger, and fear are harder to find. If you know of any good read alouds, that show males positively handling these issues, please share them.

ABCs of Behavior

I’ve had my 4 year grandson visiting with me for a few weeks. I was tempted to tell you his behaviors are within the normal range, but one of the speakers at the Governor’s Institute told us, "Normal is a setting on a dryer." His visit has given me an opportunity to look first hand at the ABCs of behavior. If you want to try, first look at the antecedent to see what happens right before the behavior. This also includes the time of day, the people who are or are not present. Next look at the behavior. What is the child doing? How long does the behavior last? What is the function of the behavior- either to obtain something or to escape something, and finally what are the consequences? We were also taught there could be setting events. This might be that the child did not get enough sleep or was overly excited about some event. You may need to write down your observations for a few days, but after some reflection, you should be able to gain some insight and possibly provide for the child’s needs before the behavior escalates. If you find a child wants control, try to find other ways to give the child some choice or control in life. If the child is trying to escape from participating in an event, help build the child’s skills so he or she is better prepared for the activity or teach a more appropriate way to escape. You might notice that the child is getting exactly what he or she wants through the behavior. If the child is trying to control you and succeeds, the behavior has worked and will most likely be repeated.

If you want to know more check out the link http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf.edu/fba.htm or ask questions in the comment section. I might not have the answers, but others in the community may. Got to go....and make sure waking up, this morning, is a positive setting event for a wonderful day in the life of my special 4 year old :)

Class Meetings

This week, I’ve been reading about class meetings in Dan Gartrell’s, The Power of Guidance. It was a great read for me, because it made me feel good about what I’ve been doing, but still gave me ways to improve my methods. Just as I was starting to think I figured this out on my own, I read that the concept of class meetings came from the work of Glasser (1969) who suggested "magic circles." When I first started teaching, we used a Magic Circle curriculum book. Most likely, what I have been doing, I learned from that experience. Turns out I’m really not all that smart, just really old:(
If you haven’t tried class meetings, I urge you to give them a try, not just once, but for several months. You will see a "noticeable difference in the social climate" of the group. Class meetings are great for building a sense of community, teaching social skills, and building leadership. I like using them because it takes a tiny bit of the responsibility for the classroom off the teacher and gives it to the children. If you don't like to give up "control", class meetings will be harder for you, but it is worth the effort.
Not all meetings need to be scheduled but Gatrell suggests that you plan to have two meetings a day. I didn’t plan mine that often. He also says to establish guidelines at the start. These would have to do with listening to and respecting others. While you can pose open ended questions for the group to discuss, I usually had mine right after center time and discussed how to solve problems, both mine and the children's. Cleaning up the room, hurting the feelings of others, sharing, using a soft voice, and safety issues were probably the most frequent topics discussed. We also used them to plan or discuss upcoming events. Towards the end of the year, the children did a great job planning a "Cow Party." during an impromptu meeting. I didn’t even realize that it qualified as an official class meeting until I read the book. Turns out "planning, sharing, evaluating, and celebrating project activities" is another use of a class meeting.
I can see value in using group meetings even if you aren’t in a regular class room. In almost any group setting, you can begin the session by taking a few minutes to explain what is going to happen and talk with the group about what they can do to make it successful. In a multi-age group, you could mention a task that might be hard for some of the children. Children could suggest ways they could help others and how to indicate help was needed. If you need to move to another area of the building, the children could suggest a safe way for the group to move, without disturbing others in the building. If you anticipate a problem, ask the children to help you problem solve before it happens. You will be teaching problem solving skills, empowering the children, and most likely have a good solution for the problem.
If you want to know more, or would like to share your successes with class meetings, please do so in the comment section.

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I am building a website for our items which are too lengthy to post here and links that we want to make available to everyone. Please let me know what sites you recommend. I have not had time to preview the ones recommended at the Institute. Please forward me any that have your seal of approval. If you want to view the basic site go to www.freewebs.com/frcowholechild. It links back to the blog, here, already.

A Class Full of Boys

It looks like my class could be almost 80% boys this fall. I’ve had this ratio twice before and each time it took me several months to get the class to where I felt the children were ready to learn academics. I’ve been reading and rereading a chapter, about guiding boys in the classroom and I think the suggestions will help me get off to a better start. The chapter is from the book The Power of Guidance by Dan Gartrell.
I plan to work on ways to incorporate more large movement opportunities , more outdoor learning times, more sensory experiences, more opportunities for appropriate experimentation into the day, and to create a larger block building area. I might even try to find a way to create a second building area, since I know several of the returning boys like to work quietly on their constructions.
I think the harder part will be to remember to try to think differently about the way I help children with loud, aggressive behaviors. I want to try to remember that children who appear angry may really be feeling sad or even fearful. Children, but especially boys, may have learned that it is ok to show anger, but not fear or sadness. Since the boys may have had male role models who handle strong emotions with aggressive behaviors, I need to find some picture books which show boys finding other ways to handle problems. I always work hard to make sure the children understand my expectations and what appropriate behavior looks like, but this will be even more important this year. I also want start out making sure that children recognize the emotion of anger. I want to teach them to let a teacher know when someone is angry, so we can help them handle their own or another’s anger. And finally, I’ve got to remember that even the toughest of the tough guys need to be nurtured, cuddled and given lots of positives.

The chapter has many more suggestions, which I’ll probably need to reread come the middle of September :) For now, I hope that "writing it down" will help make this info become a part of me because that’s what I’ll need, in order to use it during the heat of the conflict!.

I’d love to hear other ideas on the best way to start out with a class full of boys.

Who Needs You Most?

By now we all know the importance of teaching children to problem solve when there is a conflict. Teachers often put most of their energy ( teaching, reflecting, having meetings) into improving the skills of the child who has the "problem" behavior, but in The Power of Guidance, David Gartell points out that "Too often the victim stays a victim (in the child's own eyes and the eyes of others) vulnerable to future violence." Many times, the victim is comforted and the teaching of skills focused on the "perpetrator." While I figured out, quite awhile ago, that if you teach the other children what to do when someone is bothering them, negative behaviors will decrease, I'm not sure I realized just how important it was to the self esteem of the victimized child to build his or her skills. Who needs you most? They both do.

Sense of Community

Every year in the classroom makes me realize more and more how important it is to build a sense of community in the classroom. I may have rebelled against this concept, for awhile, remembering back to when teachers punished the whole class because of the misbehavior of one. My teachers should have read the book, A Matter of Trust by Carolee Howes and Sharon Ritchie. They could have taught us how to help, and include, the children with problem behaviors. Now I know just how valuable a sense of community can be in a classroom, even a classroom of young children. Children who have opportunities to work together in a group, and learn to care about others who are having difficulty, gain skills which will be valuable throughout their life. Teachers who work to include all the children will find the all children have more pro-social behaviors.

How can you build a sense of community? I'm still learning, but here is part of what I know:

• Get to know each child and their strengths.
• Build a relationship with each child in the classroom.
• Make every effort to include each child in group activities, especially circle time.
• Role model how to help others.
• Have a positive attitude about children with less desirable behaviors. If you don't like one of the children, the other children will know and will treat that child the same way.
• Help the group solve group problems, set the rules and feel a sense of ownership of the classroom.
  

Please share your ideas and successes on building a sense of community, so we all can learn more. Just click on the comment link.

Wanna Play?

Play is such a simple word, yet so very important. Active and imaginative play is all about learning: learning to problem solve, learning about social interactions, emotions, language, and learning fine and gross motor skills. Sustained engagement in imaginative play is really a cognitive skill.

Your child already knows how to play, but if you’ve forgotten, you might want to check out the book, Unplugged Play, No Batteries, No Plugs, Pure Fun. This book by Bobbi Conner has over 700 ideas for ages 12 months to 10 years. It is designed for parents, but I plan to use it to rejuvenate my lesson plans. Ideas range from setting up a pretend shoe store to birthday party ideas. There are plenty of active games to get children moving.

If you want to build your relationship with your child and promote healthy development, just go ask your child, "Wanna play with me?"

Interested in more information about the importance of play? Read the article, The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds, from the American Academy of Pediatricians at http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/XJ&sdn=stress&cdn=health&tm=96&gps=286_153_1020_542&f=20&su=p674.5.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.aap.org/pressroom/play-public.htm

Picture Books That Build S/E Skills

Once or twice a month, we will be sharing some books you can use in the classroom to build social emotional skills. This month I chose three books which are good for the start of school. Please share your favorite beginning of the year books in the comment section.

I’ve been looking for a good new book to use at the beginning of school. Just today, I discovered Jack’s Talent by Maryann Cocca-Leffler (2007). I found the book on the shelf at Besore Library in Greencastle, but it can be borrowed through the library system. This picture book is about the first day of school. The teacher asks each child to share a special talent. The text is simple, making this an easy read for early in the year. It is a great book for encouraging the children to talk about their special talents. Children will feel good about themselves and get to know their classmates in the process. Teachers should be prepared with a few ideas for those children who cannot think of a special talent. One idea for expanding this book, would be to send home a small poster for each child to decorate with his or her parents. Make sure parents understand that they will need to indicate a special talent for their child. The children bring these back to school and share them with classmates. If you use name tags, you might want to represent the child’s special talent on those. As a follow up, the teacher may want to graph the special talents. Your main focus is to help children feel good about themselves and their classmates.


Another book that is nice for the beginning of the year is Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes (1996). I’ve been using this one for years and the only problem is that it is a bit wordy for some younger children. You can paraphrase and children will still be able to comprehend the story line. Chrysanthemum loves her name until others make fun of it. Eventually Chrysanthemum feels better about her name and is happy once more. One I do every year is graph how many letters is in each child’s name. While I usually focus on the literacy aspect, it is a good time to have children be proud of their names. If you send a note home beforehand, parents can talk with children about why they were given their name. Children may want to share this with the class.
Just discussing names will help the children learn to know each other. You could extend this by helping the children make special personalized name tags for use in the classroom or play name bingo depending on the children’s skills.

You might want to focus on the behaviors and feelings in the story. Children can draw about a time when they felt sad or how Chrysanthemum felt at the middle and end of the story. Talk about how feelings can change. Another focus might be how we should treat classmates. There is so many learning possibilities with this story, I’m sure you will think of even more than I have.

A third book, I've used to ease those first day jitters is The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn(1993). You can use it to discuss the many ways children may feel about the first day of school- excited, happy, sad, nervous and so on. You may want to graph the way children are feeling.

Keep Calm?

Like Kay, I have continued to read some of the materials from the institute. I stumbled, this morning, on to a passage that reminded me of a revelation at the institute. Maybe the following is a no-brainer to some, but it helped me understand some difficult moments in parenting:

Were you ever in an argument with someone and they told you to calm down? Wasn't that helpful? Didn't you respond by thanking them for making
you aware that you were getting out of control? No? We are not surprised.
Believe it or not, children do not appreciate being told to calm down, either.
The reason for this is that you cannot calm others down, they can only calm
themselves down.

-- Elias, Maurice J., Steven E. Tobias, and Brian S. Friedlander. Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, Three Rivers Press, c1999. Pp. 111-112.

One of our speakers refered to this as "flooding"; that while it only takes a person about 15 seconds to get upset, it usually takes them at least 15 minutes to calm down. During that time they are not listening to communications. It is best to give them a quiet place on their own to just relax and unwind.

Importance of Teacher-Child Relationships

While taking part in the activities at the Governor’s Institute, we were required to read selections from a number of books. I have continued reading the book, A Matter of Trust by Carollee Howes and Sharon Ritchie. The book emphasizes the importance of positive teacher -child relationships and how those relationships influence children’s behavior. While I have not finished the book, I felt their ideas on how to build a positive relationship with the children was important enough to write about.
The authors discuss the importance of responding to the children with positive, individualized attention. They stress the need to be sensitive to children’s needs and to validate their feelings.
I found their ideas about using Teacher Talk especially interesting. Teacher Talk refers to phrases which the teachers use over and over. Comments, such as those offering help and modeling problem solving skills, help children feel secure as well as teaches them ways to talk out problems. I’m want to be more conscious of this when I go back in the classroom. As expected they remind teachers to be consistent and firm, avoid power struggles, support positive behaviors, and have high expectations.
Something, I never thought about before, was that teachers who have a positive relationship with a mentor often end up having better relationships with the children. The premise is that being able to reflect with someone helps a teacher grow. I think there much truth in that. Thank you to Kathy, Ellen, Jamie, and Cindy for filling that role for me.
To learn more information about these ideas or the theory behind them, check out the book, A Matter of Trust.

Some Opening Thoughts

• To help our children succeed in life and academic learning, we should teach them social and emotional skills with the same intensity that we teach reading and math. -- Tricia S. Jones.
• "Just as books require white space, so do children. That is, they need room to grow." --Arnold, Johann Christoph. Endangered: Your Child in a Hostile World, 2000.
• Social and emotional abilities were FOUR times more important than IQ in determining professional success and presitge. --Tricia S. Jones.
• "These are our children, and we must teach them in ways that will give them a realistic chance of successfully managing the challenges of learning, growing, and developing." -- Promoting Social and Emotional Learning, 1997.

Please voice your comments, questions, and thoughts.