Who Needs You Most?

By now we all know the importance of teaching children to problem solve when there is a conflict. Teachers often put most of their energy ( teaching, reflecting, having meetings) into improving the skills of the child who has the "problem" behavior, but in The Power of Guidance, David Gartell points out that "Too often the victim stays a victim (in the child's own eyes and the eyes of others) vulnerable to future violence." Many times, the victim is comforted and the teaching of skills focused on the "perpetrator." While I figured out, quite awhile ago, that if you teach the other children what to do when someone is bothering them, negative behaviors will decrease, I'm not sure I realized just how important it was to the self esteem of the victimized child to build his or her skills. Who needs you most? They both do.