Importance of Routine and Clear Expectations

This week, experiences with two friends reminded me just how important knowing what is expected and following a routine is to some people. While some adults embrace change, many have difficulty with it. I probably fit somewhere in between. I like variety and some change. I can be impulsive and drop everything, if a more interesting offer comes along. My one friend has made it very clear that if she has not had it planned for some time, it is not going to happen. I could call tell her that we could have dinner with the president if we left now, and she would turn me down without a second thought. In many ways she is like another friend who has difficulty if she is not sure of expectations. Working in a situation, in which expectations are not clear, will cause her to simply spin her wheels. I'm sure both of these friends would become physically ill should they be placed in uncertainty for a length of time.


I imagine that by now, you have figured out where I am going with this. Just as many adults need routine and clear expectations, so do children. Maybe even more so than adults. At a recent meeting about behavior problems, it was pointed out to me that children who live in uncertainty often appear to be ADHD. Their behaviors are a reflection of the lifestyle they are living.


As I reflected about my friends, I could see just how difficult these situations would be for children. Just as my friend felt she had no idea of what to do and no control over the changes, children must feel the same way. Just as my other friend finds security and control in a routine, so must children. It is easy for me to understand some of the attitudes children might develop from living with uncertainty for a years. I imagine it could range from withdrawal to "I'm going to do what I want to do since I don't understand what I am suppose to do."


As caregivers and teachers, it is so important to have a routine and prepare children for changes in that routine. It is equally important that we tell children our expectations. And quite often that telling is not enough, we need to show them, let them practice it, and test it. We need to be there to help them when they are not successful, just as we would want our mentors to help us when we do not understand the changes they are asking u to make.