When Adults Get Angry

It happens, we all get angry. Dealing with children on a daily basis brings many rewards, but is also has frustrations. What can we do, so that we can better handle our anger and best be role models to children? I'm by no means an expert, but I have learned a few things through the years. Most of these ideas are good for parents as well as teachers.
Maybe some of them will work for you when the children are getting the best of you.

• When you feel yourself getting louder and louder make an effort to talk as quietly as you can. Whispering in a child’s ear will get his attention and de-escalate the situation.
  
• If you keep talking and no one is listening, just be quiet. Silence often gets more attention that noise.
  
• Take turns with a difficult child. If you feel yourself getting out of control, ask another adult to take over for awhile. I remember as a child I hated to have my hair washed and combed out. On day a neighbor came over and took me to her house and washed my hair and brushed out the tangles. What a treat that must have been for my mom as well as myself.
  
• Don’t take the situation personally. We all do this. We think children are just trying to make us mad, but take a step back and pretend it is someone else’s child. Depersonalize the situation. While you are doing that, take a breath and replay the conflict in your mind. It might just give you a little smile to see yourself arguing with a child as if you are both 5.. You might also discover the thing just isn’t worth fighting about. Whatever has been done, help yourself and the child move forward, by finding a solution or cleaning up the mess. Think more about teaching positive behaviors, not punishing the negative ones.
  
• Find a way to remind yourself to calm down. I used to keep a small poem on my bulletin board. It simply said, "I will not kick, I will not hit, I will not scream, I am the teacher." While I wasn’t kicking and hitting children, it did serve to remind me that I was the adult. I needed to be a role model to the children.
  
• If you are going somewhere and feel that the children are out of control, and you are too, stop and take the children back to a safe place. If you are at the grocery store, go back out to the car or go home. If you are going on a walk and no one is listening, go back inside and regroup. Discuss what needs to be done and try again.
  
• Laugh, say something funny or do something silly. It may be just what is needed to calm negative feelings. This doesn’t mean that you ignore the situation, just that you distract both yourself and the child until you can think more clearly.
  
• If anger is happening daily, talk to someone, so that you can relieve some of the stress and figure out new ways to handle the situation.

Share your ideas on handling anger and frustration.