Clean Up Time or Is It Pick Up and Put Away?

I don’t know about your class, but last year when I asked my group to clean up, they got out the brooms and started sweeping the floor. They also cleared the table by wiping everything to the floor. It was then I decided I needed to be more explicit in my directions. Clean Up Time was quickly renamed Pick Up and Put Away Time. So often, we just assume children know what we mean when we give instructions. This year, I am using the book Max Cleans Up to help teach what I mean about "cleaning up." In this humorous book by Rosemary Wells, Ruby works to pick up toys and put them away, but Max stuffs an assortment of objects, including gooey substances, ants, and a little sand into his pocket. Afterwards, we will discuss where an assortment of our classroom objects belong.We may make cooperative pictures to hang in the room and remind us to put things where they belong. We may even sing a few verses of "Time to put the toys, away, toys, away, toys away. Time to put the toys away. Everybody help." I should probably also take time to teach the meaning of the word everybody. I'm always amazed at the number of children who don't realize I mean them, when I say everyone or everybody. It never fails that after I tell everybody to go, one child will still be sitting there and ask, "Me?" Children can't be expected to behave in a certain way, if we as adults are not clear in our directions.

Parent Teacher Conferences

It is about that time, parents are anxious to know how their children are doing in school and teachers are beginning to have a good understanding about the skills of the children. If teachers are to create partnership with parents, it is important to put yourself in the parent's place. Parents want to hear the good news and need to hear the bad. If parents are to develop good relationships with teachers, they need to listen with an open mind and be willing to share what they know about their child.

Here are a few hints to make conferences more successful.

• Talk about the child's strengths. No one wants to be bombarded with negatives. Plus it gives a more complete picture of the child.
• Don't get into the blame game. Start from the here and now.
• Teachers need to be prepared. Observe the child, document what you see, gather work samples, and prepare paperwork beforehand. Share specific examples of what you have seen, not general comments about how the child never listens. Take time to think of resources and solutions to offer, if there is a problem you need to discuss.
• Parents, take a few minutes before the conference to observe your child, consider goals you have for your child. Talk to your child to see if he or she wants you to talk to the teacher about something. Make a list of questions.
• Allow enough time to have a full conversation about the child.
• Listen to each other. Make sure both parties have time to talk.
• Ask questions to clarify, especially when you don't agree.
• If you find what is being discussed, upsetting, take a break and ask if you can come back, in a few days, to talk again, once you have had time to consider what has been said.
• Set goals for the child, so you both are working toward the same end.
• Come up with a plan both teachers and parents can agree to use. If one person can't do it or doesn't like it, admit that up front.
• If you disagree about a behavior being a problem, remember it must be a problem for the person to bring it up. It might not be a problem for you, in your situation, but it is in the other situation. Find out why the behavior is a problem.
• Set a time for follow up, if needed.
• End on a positive note.
  

Who's Afraid? Books to Help

There’s a Nightmare in My Closet by Mercer Mayer is just one of many books that can help children talk about and overcome some of their fears. A favorite in my classroom is The Big Green Monster.

After reading a story, I like to encourage the children to talk about their fears. If my focus is monsters, we usually spend time creating monsters in the art center. I find the children especially like to make monster puppets. It gives them even more opportunities to play with monsters and in doing so they can feel more comfortable and less afraid. We often expand this activity and make up stories about our monsters. We tell what they like to eat and where they like to hide and what scares our monsters. Sometimes we make individual stories and other times we make class stories, depending upon the needs of the class. If appropriate, it would add to the learning by having the children act out the stories.

When talking about general fears, you might want to involve the parents. Send home a note asking parents to fill in the blanks. "When I was little I used to be afraid of__________, but now I____. " You can read these to the class. Think how comforting it could be to know that when Tommy’s police officer dad was a little boy, he was afraid of spiders, but now he loves to look at their webs in the morning dew. I think the best part about sharing general fears is the words of wisdom and actions that can come from the other children.. When classmates see petite Beth picking up worms, they begin to see that worms might not be as tough as they originally thought. Take time to learn about children’s fears and then you can find ways to lessen them.

Other books to help with fears:

Bump in the Night by Edward Hemingway (2008) Story of a little boy who, at bedtime hears a noise in the closet.He imagines the worst, but it is only his puppy.

Francis the Scaredy Cat by Ed Boxall (2002) Francis the cat, is afraid of the dark and what must be out there in the night. One night, Francis becomes worried that a monster in the dark has captured his friend Ben. Francis overcomes his fear to go rescue Ben.

The Scaredy Cats by Barbara Bottner, illustrated by Victoria Chess (2003)
This family of cats is scared of everything, so they do nothing. Read the story to find out what Baby Scaredy Cat has to say.

Shadows Are About by Ann Whitford Paul, illustrated by Mark Graham (1992) A simple look at how shadows are everywhere, but only when there is light. A good story to help children understand the same thing that may scare them at night is there in the daytime also.

Helping Those Who Don't Fit In

Earlier this year, I wrote about helping children include others in their play. It all seemed so easy then. Teachers just make it clear that children can't tell others they can't play. I know it is the right way, but when the child who wants to play is annoying and disrupts the play, it sometimes doesn't seem fair to the other children who are engaging in sustained, imaginative play.
As I write this, I am trying to think of solutions for the teacher who brought me this problem. I know we have to teach the "outsider" better skills, but that won't happen over night. Meanwhile, unless the teacher is right there to guide the play, those children who might move onto more advanced play miss out on the opportunity. Staff can try to involve the child in play with others, but again they are spending the majority of their time working on the skills of this one child, while possibly not giving the support to others who need it. The alternative is not a consideration. Teachers can't condone the children excluding, nor can teachers insist the children include and not be there for support. Playing with one child is sometimes easier than playing in a group, so maybe helping this child develop a friendship with one other child would help. Not a perfect solution, but maybe one to try for at least part of center time. If the teacher looks for this child's strengths and has him/her use them, to help other children, it could increase the possibility that others will see him/her in a more positive way. The adults need to make sure the other children see, that adults like this child and thus build the child's social value.
Thank you for being my sounding board on this problem. If you have insight to share, just post it in the comment section.

Language and Social Skills

After attending the Governor's Institute, one of my goals was to teach the children in my class, what to do in various situations. This week we've been talking about anger. We've read several good books on the topic. We talked about what makes us angry and we've discussed using words to talk about problems. Today I sat down with each child and asked him what he does when he is angry. I often rephrased, asking, "How do you make yourself happy?" I was amazed at the insight some of the children had. I was also reminded of the difficulty some children have with language, especially those wh questions and there I was using both what and when. Unfortunately, it is those same children who sometimes have difficulty with behaviors. This could be because they don't understand what is being said or they can't express themselves as well and be understood by others. I have a wonderful speech therapist, who comes to my room every week, but speech and language problems are seldom quickly resolved. Meanwhile the children's self esteem decreases, others begin to label them as problems, they may be less accepted by classmates. I need look at each of these children and determine the best way to teach them the skills they need. Some may need more repetition, others may need to learn to use gestures, still other may need more more visuals such as picture charts. In any case, I know that to be effective, my teaching methods need to reach all the children. We think nothing of individualizing academic skills, but it is just as important to individualize when teaching social skills.
Share your ideas on how to help children who have speech. language and processing delays build social emotional skills.

Teacher Burnout

It probably doesn't take much thought to figure out how teacher burnout affects the social-emotional skills of children. A teacher who is feeling burnt out is less engaged with the children, does not make the extra effort to improve the skills of children, does not empower and help children believe in themselves, and generally is more self focused than child focused. So what can we do to help teachers avoid burnout?
Suggestions that I have read include:

• Clarify what is expected of you.
• Ask for help. This is especially important if problem behaviors are causing the stress. I found this quote on another blog and thought it was quite true, "When a child's behavior is unmanageable and teachers are not supported in finding special help and assessment for the child, learning opportunities for all are diminished. It is also agonizing and extremely stressful." http://teacherswithburnout.blogspot.com/2008/01/stressed-teachers-cant-be-expected-to.html
• Talk to other teachers. The simple act of sharing your feelings can often help. Other teachers may be able to help you problem solve some matters and relieve some of the stress.
• Try to maintain communication with administrators. Unfortunately some administrators impose rules, procedures, or requirements without consulting those who must carry them out. Voice your concerns. Teachers who feel they have no control over what is being required or strongly disagree with what is expected can quickly develop burnout. http://www.ericdigests.org/2004-1/burnout.htm
• Take time off from work, use your sick days, and take that time to recharge yourself. Teachers need to take care of themselves, if they are to take care of others.
• If coworkers are dragging you down, ask for a team building meeting or a transfer.
• Take a class to gain fresh ideas.
• Make a firm decision to keep work at work and eliminate taking the job home. You will never fell refreshed if you carry the stress home with you.
• Exercise or do some other enjoyable activity.
• Find some way to bring more humor into your life.

Remember, it is easier to prevent burnout than it is to recover from the results. Children deserve the best teachers we can give them, so take care of yourself!

Two New Books

Where’s My Mom? By Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler
This is the story of a lost monkey and the butterfly who works to reunite him with his mother. The title alone will provide an opportunity to discuss what to do if a child gets lost, and the twist at the end helps children see that not all children look like their parents. It would be natural to follow the story with an activity to help children learn the name of their parents. I like to do this by talking about what I call the parent and then also calling the children by the name of the primary care giver. Aside from the social-emotional value, the book has quite a bit of opportunity to build critical thinking and language skills. Children can be asked to consider how things are alike and different, how you can distinguish one animal from another. You might extend this to have children attempt to describe their primary care giver. If children are developmental ready, graphs could be made about various characteristics of children or parents.

I’m Bad! by Kate and Jim McMullan While I really enjoyed the I Stink and I’m Dirty books by the same authors, I almost decided not to write about this book, after my first read. I thought it just encouraged bad behavior and might be disliked by some of the children especially the girls. I decided to see what others had to say and all I found were glowing reviews. They pointed out that the story shows that even the toughest of the tough guys needs mom and even the toughest creatures don’t always get their way. All of this reminded me that I need to read books that will appeal to the tough guys in my class. As much as I might think the children would benefit from a book, such as Making Friends by Fred Rodgers, if the tough guys tune me out, they gain nothing from it. So use your best big, loud, bad voice as you enthusiastically read, I’m Bad!, it just might get the attention of the child who needs it most.