Modeling Wanted Behaviors

Sometimes we work so hard to get children to do what we want that we forget that modeling the behavior may be the best way to influence how children act. The book, There, There, by Sam McBratney and illustrated by Ivan Bates shows this so well. In the story, Little Hansie has one injury after another and each time his dad comforts him and reminds him that everything will be okay.  One day, though it is the dad who is hurt and it is Hansie's turn to comfort him.

Children won't be thinking about how important positive role modeling is to them. They will most likely be looking at the beautiful illustrations and thinking about how Hansie is acting all grown up when he helps his dad. It is important for children to understand they have the power to make things better, to help others and this story gives that subtle reminder.

When using it in the classroom, talk about who helps the children feel better and how they have helped others.  Each year we often do a short lesson on how to help someone who has a scrape. The children love learning about washing the hurt area, possible putting on ( pretend) antibiotic and then applying a bandage.  It makes them feel good about themselves.  You might want to follow up with a writing/drawing prompt about how the children help others. You can talk about the difference between a physical hurt and a feeling of hurt.  Not all children will get this concept, but it never too soon to begin such conversations.

This book is also great for predictions, retelling , and even acting out. Sometimes though, a book can simply be a story to be shared and not used for teaching a specific topic. This is a good book for that, too.  Take time to enjoy it with the children in your life.

Helping Children Manage Feelings Using Books

Books can do so much to help adults as well as children have a better understanding of themselves and others.  I recently read Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi.  In this book, the author tells the story of a group of young female students who meet to discuss works of fiction. It soon becomes obvious that as they do this, they also begin to examine their own lives. When we find a book that touches children in that way, we can begin to help them look at themselves in new ways.

When I read a new books for children, I usually find that a past experience or a specific child comes to mind. This was the case with When No One is Watching by Eileen Spinelli and illustrated by David A. Johnson.   It didn't take long for me to think of a little girl in my class not long ago. One on one she was a delightful person, full of both funny and meaningful thoughts to share. But the minute she was in front of more than one person she became shy and quiet, not willing to participate. This would be the book for her. The main character talks about how she feels when no one is watching and then contrasts it to how she feels when "everyone" is watching. In the end she talks about another girl, her friend who is also shy and the things they do together.

This would be a great book to read one on one with a shy child, but also to a group because I think many children feel like they need to hold back when others are watching. Many children are afraid they will fail or not be good enough. Of course you don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable by pointing them out, but if one of the teachers could talk about a time when they were hesitant to participate, it just might help a child or two feel a little more comfortable. Change takes time, but little nudges like this book could help.

Some children need a straight forward book to help them understand their own and other's feelings. I was amazed to learn years ago that some children just can't read faces. I was surprised to learn that as I taught children about specific facial expressions, I became better at understanding what others were expressing. The series of books Let's Look at Feelings can help with this. The book I read was What I Look Like When I am Surprised.   The book has different children all with surprised look on their face. The simple text points out what is happening in the pictures. The mouth is open, the eyebrows are raised and other descriptive details. The book is not going to get many children asking you to read it again, but it can be a spin off to lots of fun learning activities. Take pictures of your class expressing different feelings and turn them into your own book or bulletin board. Discuss things that might result in a surprised look. Talk about the difference in a happy surprise and a not so happy surprise.

The last book for today is Froggy's Worst Play Date by Jonathan London. Froggy can't find any of his regular friends home. His dad ends up taking Froggy and a girl frog on a play date to the movies.  Quite honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about this book, maybe because I am not sure how Froggy feels about his play date. Even as I write that I realize that it might make for a good discussion and it would be great for children to explain how they think Froggy feels. Just because I don't know the answer doesn't mean there is not value in  having children explore feelings and why they feel one way or another. In fact, I think I've talked myself into trying this book out with my class! I'll let you know if it is a hit or not.

Smile

Two new children’s books explore the lengths we go to just to see our children smile. Laugh –Out-Loud Baby by Tony Johnston and   illustrated by Caldecott Medalist, Stephen Gammell has the whole family working to make the baby laugh out loud.    I Love it When you Smile, by Sam Bratney ( Guess How Much I Love You) and illustrated by Charles Fuge has Momma Kangaroo doing everything she can think of to cheer up her grumpy child. It is not until they both end up in a mud puddle that she succeeds.

While young children may never understand the depths of an adult’s love for them, these two new books will certainly provide the opportunity for building a more secure relationship, spending some quality time, and sharing more than one smile.   

P.S.  As long as your head doesn't hurt, sick days can be so good for catching up on those quiet things you never have time for. :)

I heard this song long ago.  I cannot find the author or copyright  so I thought I would share it with you. Use it to cheer up these dreary February days. 

It isn't any trouble
Just to S-M-I-L-E
It isn't any trouble
Just to S-M-I-L-E
So smile when you're in trouble,
It will vanish like a bubble
If you'll only take the trouble
Just to S-M-I-L-E

It isn't any trouble
Just to L-A-U-G-H
(or ha-ha-ha-ha laugh)
It isn't any trouble
Just to L-A-U-G-H
(or ha-ha-ha-ha laugh)
So laugh when you're in trouble,
It will vanish like a bubble
If you'll only take the trouble
Just to L-A-U-G-H
(or ha-ha-ha-ha laugh)

It isn't any trouble
Just to G-R-I-N, grin
It isn't any trouble
Just to G-R-I-N, grin
So grin when you're in trouble
It will vanish like a bubble
If you'll only take the trouble
Just to G-R-I-N, grin!

It isn't any trouble
Just to Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Finding Friends in Two New Books

Go to any park, preschool, or some of the indoor playgrounds and you are sure to hear the words, “Go play.” We are so quick to say those words as if  playing with others is completely natural and stress free.  For some children, it is as easy as can be, but for others, it is not. Some children struggle because they are set in their ways and how they think things should be; they have trouble playing by a different set of rules.  Others, for whatever reason, find themselves rejected by other children. We so casually ask children about their friends, but not every child has a friend and some desperately yearn for one. 

I am constantly learning more about how children view friends and friendship. Just the other day I heard one girl tell another, “Try your oranges and I’ll be your best friend.”  I heard a boy, who was playing across the room, yell to another child, “I had that first. I won’t be your best friend.”  Being a friend is used as a threat or a promise.  Children may not see friendship as long term commitments and neither do some adults. Think how quick we are to move to another place, change a child’s class and say, “You’ll make new friends.”

All of this reflecting about friendship brings me to two new books, the first is Bear in Love by David Pinkwater and illustrated by Will Hillenbrand. The second is  Lovabye Dragon by Barbara Joosse and illustrated by Randy Cecil.

The bear in Bear in Love finds small treats left for him by a secret admirer; someone who knows what he likes and cares for him.  Even the art in this book makes you feel good.  Read it to children to help them understand that doing for others, things others like, is one way to be a friend.  Follow up with a discussion of what friends can do to build friendships. You can have this discussion once a week and it will still be meaningful to at least one child. Since children are so self centered, it could be valuable to have the children draw pictures of what kinds of things make them feel good. This will help others better understand what the friends like and may help them see differences. One friend my like to have help with a puzzle, while another likes to do puzzles by himself. One child may like noisy games, another quiet ones. 

In Lovabye Dragon, the girl and dragon in the story are both looking for someone to love them back. One day a dragon follows a trickle of tears to the little girl.  When they met they both understand this is the person for which they have been looking. Children need to know that finding a friend is not always easy. This story helps with that. While I understand this book was written with the child who wants a friend in mind, but I think it would be a wonderful adoption day gift.  

Llama, Llama

If you love the Llama, Llama books, you will certainly enjoy Llama Lama Time to Share.  . Llama Llama does manage to share with the new neighbor, until  she takes his favorite Fuzzy Llama. Then there is a tug of war, with the expected result. Most children will easily relate to how Llama Llama feels.  How comforting to have a friend like Llama Llama who faces the same problems. Sharing is not something children master overnight and can be especially hard for some. Reading stories about the topic makes it just a little easier.

Anna Dewdney the author of the Llama Llama books has a nice website with free activities and printable for teachers. You can find it at http://www.llamallamabook.com/forTeachers.html   You will also find some pages for children.

I Want to be Miss Harmony

We all have people we look up to; those we want to emulate.I am here to admit, I want to be like Miss Harmony in Rosemary Wells new book, Miracle Melts Down. I realize the book was written for children, but I think it is a good book for teachers, maybe better than some of those 300 page text books I've seen on social emotional development.

Miss Harmony doesn't have the perfect class of alligators. She has regular alligator kids, but within that room she has  built a wonderful class community. It is a room, in which the children clearly care about each  other. When poor Miracle has a bad day, the other children and Miss Harmony help her get through the day.They give her tissues to wipe her tears, sing the Feeling Better song, make her a crown and a necklace, clean up her messes, and they help her count to ten.

Rosemary Wells has written an excellent book for younger children, to help them learn about handling emotions. It also helps them learn how to help others and it just might remind teachers that they don't have to always take care of everything themselves. If they work to build a sense of community, everyone in the class can contribute to making classroom better.

Mistakes- Brownie and Pearl

When I think of Cynthia Rylant, I think of quality books for slightly older children. Somehow I have missed the toddler books. I'm here today to try to "make good."  Brownie and Pearl Make Good is the title of the 8th in a series of  wonderful books for the younger crowd. This simple text book tells the story of  Brownie and her cat, Pearl who were running in the house. They knock over the radio causing it to break. Mom is not pleased but helps them find a way to make up for their mistake. There is no crying or yelling, just a very simple yet mature example of how you try to make up for a mistake. It is absolutely wonderful.

Children learn so much by example and this short story provides such a positive example of what to do when things go wrong. This book will help children who feel guilty for way too long, as well as those who just don't understand the hurt they may have caused to others.

As caregivers, we all deal with this issue everyday. Teaching children appropriate ways to make amends to others is not always easy. I plan to use this book in a classroom of 4 and 5 year olds, but it could be used for a younger group.  Before reading, I will have the children recall a time when something was broken in their life or maybe someone got hurt. Next we will read the story. We will follow up with a discussion of the feelings in the story and a discussion of how we can make ourselves and others feel better when mistakes happen. We already talk about how we can "fix it" when some thing happens, so this will be a great way to reinforce the concept    We might even make a class book of our own to help us recall what we can do. Even as an adult, it is sometimes hard to know what to do in the heat of the moment, but thinking back to how Brownie and Pearl did it might just make it a little easier. For those who work with the younger children, check out all the books about Brownie. The children may just have a new best friend.

P.S. Thank you to Bernice Crouse, executive director of the Franklin County Library System, for introducing me to this great series of books. As Frank Zappa said, "So many books, so little time" As much as I want to,  I just can't keep up on all the new great books.